Tommy Freakin’ Walker Got a ‘D’ in Language Arts
The energy GoodwillBooks is putting into this price-slashing war that will culminate in my book being given away for $0.01. Why not offer it for a red cent and be done with it? It doesn’t matter how much you slash price because the only people who visit my page are me, you and your partner in absurdity, BetterWorldBooks.
Monstrous documents the ‘D’ I received in seventh grade Language Arts, but didn’t find it worth mentioning that my ninth grade Reading teacher caught me moving my lips.
Monstrous also neglected to mention my only full-blown ‘F’ in high school, in Photography. It isn’t becoming of a would-be serial killer to flunk at the favorite hobby of psychos everywhere, and I wasn’t too keen on admissions that wouldn’t bolster my case. I was, however, interested in showing my life’s contours, and on that basis it should have been included. Ultimately, I felt I had better examples of failure than officially failing grades, and felt it misleading to invite readers to associate my failure in Photography with its Photography-ness, as opposed to its being a rare and extreme case of a class in which I had to do something other than sit on my ass. Other parts of Monstrous do see in me a potential photography lover that photography might love back, like where I’m lugging that broken camera around and making like I’m watching TV.
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