MONSTROUS

Tommy Walker

Mild-Mannered

Practically bumped my head on something I couldn’t possibly have bumped it on unless I was tall, and a witness, a girl asked me how tall I was. I said I rounded to 6’3″ and she answered that she didn’t think I was that tall. “I shrink because I’m mild-mannered” I said.

Getting a little distance on the exchange, I’m wondering if I gave away that I’m a superhero. Who else is ‘mild-mannered’ besides Clark Kent? Peter Parker? David Banner? Now that last one, The Incredible Hulk, may be more to the point. Because a grown man superhero must necessarily sour in his outlook when he realizes he doesn’t exist. He’s more liable to turn angry, and green, when he’s fed up with being mild-mannered.

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October 21, 2013 Posted by | Monstrous | , , , , , | Leave a comment

No Apparent Motive

A terrific documentary apparently from the mid-1980s, No Apparent Motive dated enough that you can actually see there’s a difference between that time and now. Especially enlightening for its inclusion of an interview with Ed Kemper, a very insightful fellow and very recognizably human.

October 20, 2013 Posted by | Serial Killers | , , , , , | Leave a comment

YouTube Stardom Here We Come

I’d tell you the link, but can’t figure out how to find the address without artificially inflating my view count, which at one from my own eyeballs is already bad enough. One way to find me is to plug in the title of my book, and insist that you do in fact mean ‘Monstrous’ and not ‘Monster’.

The key to a loud enough volume is to crank everything, microphone and speakers and Movie Maker audio to the max, to record with the microphone volume high enough to annoy yourself with your own breathing, and to practically be eating the mic, which requires for one of the headphone earmuffs to be resting ajar from your ear. Of course, it is also true that I was trying to record a kind of lullaby in an appropriately soft voice.

*****

Interesting developments at Amazon. I’m always a sucker for movement in my counts for new and used copies, but beyond seeing an uptick from 18 to 19 new, I found today that my frequent visits have ingratiated ‘Monstrous’ higher in Amazon search results. I have searched ‘Snow Falling On Cedars’ so many times that it and ‘Monstrous’ are now considered related, though as of now ‘Snow’ is mentioned on my page and not vice versa. Also, I’ve made a leap from page 12 to 10 of books that are viewed by people who also view ‘Final Truth: The Autobiography of a Serial Killer’. This is because I keep looking myself up via ‘Final Truth’, as it is oddly through this pathway that I can locate the shortest URL to my own page. Much more unwieldy an address to copy and paste when I find myself via the keywords of ‘Monstrous Tommy’.

October 19, 2013 Posted by | Monstrous | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Here’s What I’ve Been Up To

A Capella Instrumental

Not going public at moment because I’m frustrated with the low sound, unless you’ve got it cranked to the max.

October 18, 2013 Posted by | Monstrous | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Going Postal

Just this second determined that the Amazon reviews for “Snakes in Suits” was the wrong thing to get lost in.

How did that happen? I had looked up the origins of “going postal”, was led to a book on the subject of U.S. Postal Service violence and culture, then drifted off toward the ‘Snakes’ because it was viewed by a number of the same people. If you don’t want snakes in the corporate world, where do you want them?

Today I began the application process to become a postal worker myself, and I must say I have never encountered such a killer-friendly organization. Preferential consideration for veterans, the more active-duty the better, and they require that all males my age have registered with the Selective Service, a personal job app first.

I couldn’t remember if I had dodged that like I had wanted to, like my moral bone would have been proud of, or if I had registered and simply crossed my fingers that it wouldn’t lead to my getting drafted and shipped off, at which point I would have needed to shoot up my barracks in order to look myself in the mirror.

So I checked my status online, at the risk of putting myself on the radar, and for the benefit of potentially earning a $15 per hour job– and found that yes, I had registered. Can I claim rebel points for putting it off until the 25th day of 30 after turning eighteen? And will others get gung-ho points in the eyes of postal recruiters for registering on their eighteenth birthdays?

I don’t recall an allowance for ‘free thought’ in the conscientious objector exemption when it was relevant to my situation; seems the law is written more friendly today toward an individual who objects individually, rather than who cloaks himself as unthinkingly within a pacifist religion as a soldier letting the military do his thinking for him.

Making love and not war is all well and good, but for me the overarching belief has been that the question of who, if anyone, I should kill was a matter of too much importance to put in anyone else’s hands.

October 17, 2013 Posted by | murderers | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Palindrome With Commas and Spacing in the Same Places Forward and Back

I live on evil, ogre,
Ergo, live no evil I

[page 367]

Something I spent two or three days on, mostly gathering candidate words in those days before I had a computer. From that point I think it came together quickly. This would have been figured out post-awakening, though perhaps pre-book. Nice to have been able to find a logical point in Monstrous to show it off.

October 16, 2013 Posted by | Monstrous | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bottle Cap

Grandson and I have been having a lot of fun with bottle caps of late.

There was a bottle cap on the sidewalk, very nearly in the geometric center of the tile it rested upon. Deciding to make myself referee in a game to which only I knew the rules, I watched as the various comers and goers would sometimes kick the cap inadvertently. The winner of the match between the Northbound and Southbound walkers would be the side that finally kicked it across the tile.

Approximately one in eight pedestrians touched the bottle cap, and some got their foot under it better than others. Because of the strength of a person’s potential kick, I shortly changed the rules to make the field two tiles long since one was much too easy to traverse. Although it was an exciting game with many shots on goal, neither team won my modernized version in the fairly long time I was there.

October 15, 2013 Posted by | Monstrous | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Scatological ‘Monstrous’

Just off the top of my head.

He is king of his cot and king of his crapper…

A toilet as great as the great outdoors…

…at my worst once leaving a trail of shit beginning six steps away from the potty.

Enormous pleasures out of peeing, shitting…

Oh, the relief, the privacy. A typically good shit taken.

You couldn’t trust from day to day there’d be toilet paper left in the bathroom…

…not quite believing that such a good thing could happen to a turd like you.

October 14, 2013 Posted by | Monstrous | , , , , , | Leave a comment

That Thar

In the words of one reviewer, Monstrous is the “story of a young man who enjoys walking around all day and night”. And it happens, more often than not, that the raw material for Monstrous was gathered via tape recorder while I walked around.

The passage below is a one-of-a-kind. In all other cases on my tape recorder walks, my surroundings were immaterial, but just this once I opened my eyes to the world around me. I sought to illustrate how I used to be on the lookout for opportunities, and so was looking for things I could steal.

‘Well, let’s see…They say that trees have as much root beneath the ground as they have tree above it, and that thar being a fairly hefty maple anyway, stealing it would probably be unreasonable. But there on the porch are a couple lawn chairs which aren’t nailed down, only there’s a window open and car in the garage, so someone might be home and see me.’

October 13, 2013 Posted by | Monstrous | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tale of the Tape

My creative non- versus his fiction, my cat lady freebies versus David Guterson’s most recent Amazon sales taken to an equal number of comments. About half as many BookCrossers, reader for reader, had twice as much to say.

This was my slow patch in terms of tape-measure home runs, as sandwiched between my two 1-fer-4s on sales is this oh-fer-25 or so during which period no one said that mine could be argued for as their all-time favorite book. But I still hit one out of the park, if not the stadium, and Guterson did not. Here was when I picked up my kudos for writing someone’s most re-readable paragraph in fifteen years since Jack Keroauc’s “the only people for me are the mad ones”. It might not sound like much, but this achievement was actually critical to winning this particular reader over, overall, and today she has the number two slot on my back cover, even without mention of this feat.

Monstrous: The Autobiography of a Serial Killer but for the Grace of God

8 identified with, related to
7 well written (3 extremely)
6 interesting
6 wondered
6 disagreement with title
6 couldn’t get into
5 enjoyed
4 style (awesome, love, wonderful, good)
4 long (thick, massive)
4 too long
3 laughed (-ing), giggles
3 love (tone, style, fell in)
3 flowed (-s, -ed)
3 requires concentration
3 asks me to think further
3 took time to get into
3 difficult (emotional strain)
3 egotistical (absurdly)
3 diary (-ies)
2 memoir
2 couldn’t put down (kept me awake)
2 mesmerized (-izing)
2 hooked
2 ride (nice, interesting)
2 good writer
2 nice (-ly)
2 glad
2 scary
2 disturbing
2 creepy (-ily)
2 crude, crassness
2 uncomfortable (sensed discomfort)
2 odd (-ly)
2 curious
2 not what I expected
2 narcissist (-ic)
2 self-exposure (too much)
2 no empathy (pity or sympathy) for main
2 explicit (-ly)
2 detail (infinite, compulsive)
2 repetitive (-tion)
2 boring, dull
2 grammatical errors

Snow Falling On Cedars

10 great
7 flashbacks (4-3 against)
6 history (-ic, -ical, -ically)
6 interesting, interest
6 good story
5 good storytelling
5 well written
4 believable characters
4 descriptive -ons, -bed (word pictures)
4 detail (too much)
3 love
3 good storyline (great)
3 complex
3 unfolds
3 slow
3 lengthy
3 unnecessary sex scenes
2 liked
2 fascinating
2 moving (-ed)
2 lovely
2 beautifully written
2 insightful, insights
2 deep, depth
2 character-driven
2 care about characters
2 captures, recreates a time
2 covers ground we know little about
2 took time to get into
2 long-winded (wordy)
2 digressed
2 frustrated (-ion)
2 annoying (-ance)

October 12, 2013 Posted by | Monstrous | , , , , , | Leave a comment